Struggling between being a good guy or a bad guy... Why try so hard being a good guy for others to see when no one gives a shit at you. But then, people will say, "Being a good person is not for others but it's for yourself." It's true, but so what if you feel good inside when others will judge your past or even your first impression to them? And people will say, "Why care about those people opinion? If you know you did something good, why bother their point of view towards you?" There's always a debate in everything and it will never ends.
No matter how many good deeds you do, once you did something bad and you're deem as a bad guy/influence..
There's a Chinese saying,"好人有好报” means good guy will get good repay. But I'm not seeking any repay, I just want to help people and be appreciated/proud of me. But no, because of my first impression to them is bad, and I know first impression makes a big difference of judging a person, no one treat me as a good person..
Sry bloggy.. Sry to vent at u again.. Bb